Mandated New Jersey Full Service at the Pump: Tres Retarde
Okay. The most stupid of stupid laws is this: in New Jersey, you are not allowed to pump your own gas. In case you have never lived in New Jersey and don’t understand that, I will repeat: it is illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey. Full service is mandatory.
So, you are probably agreeing with me already in thinking this is very stupid because it is very expensive. In a twist of irony, it is actually not more expensive than other states because New Jesrey has a lower gas tax than other states.
So now you’re probably thinking - “that’s not so bad. a little bit of luxury for the same price.”
Okay. You may mean well, but you are wrong. It is super-dooper frustrating because … it takes ten years to tank up in New Jersey!!
Here is what happens: you pull up, then you wait while the attendant, who is talking on his cell phone and smoking, wanders around the property. Eventually, cued by God-knows-what-but-certainly-not-your-presence, he makes his way back towards your car, takes your cash/credit card, asks you what you want, then sticks it in you. Again, he wanders away, possible to bake pastries. You can’t be sure. If you knit, you can make good use of the time in your rapidly heating/cooling automobile. Eventually, he returns and takes it out of you and give you your change/credit card and receipt but you still feel it for the rest of the day.
Once the guy took so long I lawlessly removed the nozzle myself. The guy sort of wandered over, smingly. I pointed at my watch and said, “I don’t have forever.” The customer on the other side of the pump then said, “Yeah, you people do take forever!” The attendant just laughed and said, “You’re a good man.” Whate the @#$@! does that mean? I just want to get gas in less time than it takes to eat-in at McDonalds.
This corrupt system is bizzarely perpetuated in the name of safety. I guess all the other states in the country are unsafe. It’s a bizzare system because - who wants that fricking job? I can understand unions that represent teachers and construction workers - jobs you can like but how did the gas-station-attendant coalition get so powerful??? This is, as the French say, tres retarde.