http://rantsinmypants.com Share the pain. Fri, 26 Jan 2007 05:52:25 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en What the hell is wrong with Canada? In America, the land of logic, we have five digit zip codes, such as 94720. If you want to get more exact, You can add a four digit extension, such as 94720-2121. In Canada, the land of illogic, you have a pair of three ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2007/01/25/canadian-zip-codes/ One of the most disgraced, most charismatic people I’ve ever met has been Jim McGreevey, the former governor of New Jersey who famously said “I am gay American” though might have better said “I am a corrupt gay American who pushed my corruption so far, the press of New Jersey ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2006/09/11/idiot-on-idiot/ I think by now we’ve all recognized that the service industry has stopped saying, “you’re welcome” and has shifted to the more guilt-inducing “no problem.” For example, here’s a recent exchange I had with a bank teller: Me: There wasn’t a way to do it online, so thanks for helping me ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2006/09/06/no-problem-big-problem/ From the Los Angeles Times: “Diana Newton, 51, of Westminster [Calif.] sued the J.C. Penney Co. last month after she was allegedly thwacked on the head by a department store dummy,” the Los Angeles Times reports: Newton said she was ambushed by a legless female mannequin at the company’s Westminster Mall store, ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2006/08/21/mannequins-run-amok/ Okay. So a friend of mine and a friend of his created a web site called AwesomeMillion.com. You can certify yourself, someone else, somewhere else, or something else as awesome on a subdomain like Andrea Bocelli’s (whoever that is) page. My immediate instinct was to see if I could slip Hitler ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2006/08/16/awesomemillioncom-is-really-awesome/ Recently was thrust before me a blog so outrageous, we might consider rewriting the first amendment to prevent the idea of it from annoying me. The blog in question yet out of bounds, is called One Park Avenue Reality. It is operated by a horrible person named Shmuly Tennenhaus, who deserves ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2006/08/11/lessons-from-a-lunatic/ While introducing himself at the first meeting of all the residents of my dorm floor during my first week in college, my next door neighbor claimed one of the four bathroom stalls for the remainder of the year as his own. Other people were allowed to use it, of course. ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2006/08/03/a-long-rambling-story-with-a-simple-bathroom-moral/ Ok, so I bought this pass from Continental Airlines called the “Privilege Pack.” It was like $125 or something. It came with maybe 7,000 miles, a $99 companion ticket (why I bought it), a coupon for airfare, and rental car coupons, which make great pieces of toilet paper. My favorite part ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2006/07/31/a-placed-called-heaven/ Okay. The most stupid of stupid laws is this: in New Jersey, you are not allowed to pump your own gas. In case you have never lived in New Jersey and don’t understand that, I will repeat: it is illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey. Full service ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2006/07/23/mandated-new-jersey-full-service-at-the-pump-tres-retarde/ The second tropical storm of the 2006 season, affectionately named Beryl (rhymes with “peril”), has formed off of the coast of North Carolina. Lest we ever forget, we are approaching the 1-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, possibly the most incredible and destructive force of nature since the introduction of the ... http://rantsinmypants.com/index.php/2006/07/19/a-brilliant-if-somewhat-political-solution-to-our-hurricane-woes/